What will happen when I stop taking my Wellbutrin?

I didn't take it for a few weeks in september and nothing serious happened but when i stopped in july i got really suicidal i have no clue why but i just remember i had out this bottle of pills i was about to actually take i was crying so hard i have no clue why but then my dad came home and took me to my guitar lesson and then i calmed down my mood was just up and down like crazy. but tonight i have been shaking everything is pissing me off including the fact that my parents no longer leave my wellbutrin out they put it in a f*cking bowl it pisses me off! i'm gonna start taking it i want to start writing again and i have a really big imagination when i don't take it and they are pissing me off i like control and when im mad i get the from cutting but then i stopped it was really hard now i get it from not eating after someone pisses me off and it's pissing me off too badly with them not letting me have control over taking it i NEED control but no they just put it out i'm going to stop taking it i just decided. but should i stop taking my buspar too? i just got that like 2 weeks ago but i've had wellbutrin for over a year. i want MY emotions back. if they won't let me have control over the medicine i won't take it and i can have my emotions even if they are effed. do you think my mood will go up or plummet or stay the same when i stop taking them? also what should i do with them? just take them to my room i dont wanna throw them out i have to act like im taking it or theyll make me i would take it if theyd just leave out the effing bottle and let me take one like i used to. this is what happened in july when i stopped taking them it's because they wanted to cut my dose in half and give it to me supervised. i'm not going to OD i just like control and now i am not taking it. i am excited because i remember all these crazy good ideas i used to get. do you think since i'm going into this with a positive (well i feel positive but also very angry) my mood will go up? because last time i stopped taking it i had negative cognations with it and that went bad. also how can i stop this anger? every unneccessary noise is driving me insane i actually started to shake earlier and i didnt realize but i was breathing out of breath all the sudden and digging my hands into my legs. sorry this is a bit jumbled i'm just distracted